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“It’s very common for long-term relationships to become lazy, which happens if you do not stay conscious and intent,” says Jenni Skyler, Ph.D., AASECT-certified sex therapist and founder of The Intimacy Institute. Not red.

9 Effective  foreplay tips for when your partner is kind of clueless


After a few months of having sex with the same person, you may notice something mysterious: all your connections look very similar. Knead a bit, maybe cuddle a little or five seconds orally, and then bam! Direct to sex.

“It’s very common for long-term relationships to become lazy, which happens if you do not stay conscious and intent,” says Jenni Skyler, Ph.D., AASECT-certified sex therapist and founder of The Intimacy Institute. Not red.

The kind of intent that foresight may be especially important for women, says Skyler: This is one of the stereotypes about sex that is often true. “For men it’s as if the pilot’s light was always on, but for women, our desire is receptive, not spontaneous,” he explains. “That means he should be inspired.”

Maybe the previous games did not completely disappear from their sex life, they just became obsolete. “One way to think about foreplay is to feed the fire and everyone’s fire is different,” says Skyler.

He also notes that “the preliminary decisions start from the moment you make sex until you have sex the next time,” says Skyler. Therefore, consider all intermediate moments as a form of the previous game, whether physical, mental or emotional.

How can you re-live the opening credits? These preparatory tips will help:

1. Send a sexual invitation.

Start with the right tone, says Skyler. “If your partner says ‘Hey, do you want to have sex?’ It’s not as inspiring as a sensual or carnal invitation,” he explains.

Start a new game with your partner, where you will be invited into the room in a different way each time. “Sometimes it can be, pushing him against the wall and biting his neck, sometimes can be a slow stroking of the cheek, sometimes can be a sexy text”.

2nd kiss … a lot.

Kisses are an important part of the previous games, but they tend to hurry. Put things off with a super sensual kiss. “Stand facing you and tell your partner to hold his head in his hands as a bowl of outstretched fingers rocked the back of his head and his thumbs held his chin lightly,” says Stephen Snyder, MD, Sexually New Sex Therapist and author of Love Worth Making. Your work? Relax completely while your partner kisses your face and neck.

3. Change the acquisition of the breast.

You’re probably going for your breasts or a timely move in your partner’s repertoire. Snyder suggests shaking things up by finding a new, more purposeful way to touch this highly sensitive point. “If you look at others, tell your partner to hold their ribs firmly under their breasts,” explains Snyder. This contact can be almost erotically erotic, especially as the lower part of the breasts rubs the back of the hand.

4. Let your partner take control.

“Many women tell me that the biggest pleasure in foreplay is to give a partner control,” says Snyder. If that describes you, put your partner on the driver’s seat and ask him to touch you everywhere while you lie down and enjoy the ride. You may even consider including some restrictions such as handcuffs or scarves in the mix.

5. Turn your hand into a brush.

“When people play, they usually only have one way to play,” says Skyler. A tip for past games: Think of your hand or your partner’s hand like a brush. “Think of all the areas of your hand you can touch: the nails, the fingertips, the entire palm,” he says.

Give your partner a license to be creative with the types and intensity of the contact. “This can delay your partner and allow you to explore more of your body before jumping right into your genitals,” says Skyler.

6. Try the “leaking ice cream” movement.

As things get hot, one of Snyder’s first suggestions is to move. The key is to keep the oral intent intentional instead of falling into obsolete patterns of floats. Snyder recommends “Licking Ice Cream” – “Cunnilingus Technique Popular by writer Ian Kerner Sex in his classic book, She Comes First.”

Here’s how it works: If you lie on your back with your legs spread like a butterfly, “they lie on the bellybone partners between his legs, separating the labia minora and setting the side very low language plan on the vulva, just below the vagina “Snyder explains:” and then slowly licking with the language of the flat side, as if her pussy was a big ice cream cones on a hot summer day. “licking long slowly as a provocation” Ask her partner to redo the process slowly and slowly methodically, “he says.

7. Or a teasing penis.

If you do not like the oral (ok, not everyone is), you can use a similar movement. This time, if you have a male partner, ask him to use his penis instead of your hand or tongue. “Instead of getting in immediately, tell him to make fun of you using his penis as a brush on the open vulva,” says Snyder. A little lubricant helps here, he adds. “Tell her to apply creative horizontal brushstrokes, then vertically and then around the entrance of her vagina until no one stops.”

8. Go for more kisses.
“The lips are really sexy for the giver and the recipient, there are many nerve endings,” he explains. Use these as the perfect excuse to be creative with the kiss. “Kisses all the places you rarely kiss: the shoulder, the collarbone, even behind the knee,” says Skyler. “It’s a novelty that wakes people up.”

9. Pre-game with an orgasm.

Who says reaching the peak before the main event is not a perfectly acceptable part of the previous games? “Preparing oneself can be a goal of complete joy,” says Skyler. Especially if your partner penetrates the penetration too fast, because his fire is already roaring.

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