If you are married, you will surely recognize some of these couple’s problems. What will surprise you is how you can easily fix them.
Eyenews.us tells you how.
PROBLEM No. 1: The Mother-in-law
The cause: This may be your problem, or it may not be. However, there is usually some tension between the wife and the mother of her husband. Why? Marriage researcher John Gottman, PhD, points out that this happens because both women compete for the husband’s attention.
The cure: Solidarity is essential for the success of a marriage, so both must be a united front. The husband must always support his wife, obviously being reasonable if he should take a rational position. The mother-in-law must understand that her son is first a husband, and secondly a son.
PROBLEM No. 2: Money
The cause: It happens in all stages of marriage, but newlyweds, above all, do not know how to balance the freedom and power that money brings with it, compared to the security and trust it is supposed to generate.
The cure: Make a plan as a financial team. Decide your goals as a couple (house, school for children, car, trips, etc.) and review this plan regularly. Open a joint bank account to manage these areas and deposit the most savings there. Then, open the individual accounts with a defined percentage of their salary. It’s about the personal money, the owner of each one. With that small percentage they can do whatever they want. Without asking questions.
PROBLEM No. 3: Household tasks
The cause: In general, the reality remains as follows: While in most marriages the majority of women do a great deal of domestic work, men almost do not know about this (in general). In fact, according to a study by the University of Michigan, with a national sample representative of the families of the United States, for every 7 hours of domestic work of the woman, the man only realizes one.
The problem lies in the disparity. Married women feel unsupported when their husbands are not able to clean dust, vacuum, wash dishes or clothes, etc.
The cure: Tell your partner how important it is for you to divide the chores around the house. But be patient. Do it progressively. Then, a little sex. Gottman’s research has shown that when couples divide their tasks to maintain the house, they have a more satisfying sex life.
PROBLEM No. 4: Children
The cause: women (again, in general), carry almost all the responsibility of raising children. It can be about 70% of women, according to the aforementioned studies, those who are dissatisfied with their marriage after the arrival of the baby.
The cure: Take reality into account and get used to it. The life you had before will never be the same with the arrival of the baby. No more ‘happy hours’ with spontaneous mojitos for at least 14 years. The two must share the responsibility to feed, change and bathe the baby.
PROBLEM No. 5: Sex
The Cause: After three months of a passionate honeymoon, you realized that your sexual desires are not as happily satisfied as you thought. As sex is sometimes a subject of complicated discussion, sometimes frequent lascivious approaches that are not satisfied can come to be perceived as rejections.
The cure: Trust is the best previous game. Be honest and open about your feelings and desires, without fear of ridicule or hurt. Talk frequently about your emotional needs and sexual desires. Make it a game: each one writes five secret sexual desires.